I finally have what I always wanted. A semi- normal life.
I say semi because i could never be normal but like I am a housewife with a kid anyway you look at it. And what can I say, I am happy as can be.
I cant wait to show my daughter how beautiful the world can be. I can wait to teach her how to be kind and also how to be tough. And give her all the love I never imagined I could give.
Friday, October 2, 2015
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Thoughts on blogs
Well it feels good to blog again. I used to love writing and I even thought I was good at it. But now I think I have writers block. So for now I will just blog about my current life and maybe even some of my past experiences when I was wild and free.
I used to think I had lived a long adventurous life but now that I'm sober I realized I haven't accomplished a single thing.
If anything my life has just begun now that I am a mother. I can only hope I can be a good one and that all my past experiences have made me a better person. Because after all I have come a long way.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Thoughts on life.
My life has changed so much in the last few years I feel like I dont know who I am anymore.
You see I had a baby and even though I am happy to have all the new responsibilities I feel like who I am has just washed away. And now I am only a mom. No mater how hard I try I cant seem to have fun. And I mean fun in an adult type of setting like the kind of fun I used to half before the baby.
I mean I certainly dont miss drinking and hooking up. But I miss being care free out about town socializing with kindred souls. And staying up for hours to watch the sunrise and sleeping in all day.
Now I know I cant do those last 2 things but why cant I go out to meet with people and have insightful conversations?
Every time I try for some reason or another I cant stand the person or I feel awkward. I used to be a social butterfly and now I panic and forget how to even talk. I swear I have become a hermit. I stopped even posting on social media. Im afraid of what people will think of me and rather just stay quiet than have people judge me.
Whats more I my entire mentality has changed. Once I was aloof and care free and now I am a control freak who has to plan everything ahead. And lets not even get started on the amount of worrying over anything and every thing that goes on in my head!
Funny how motherhood can screw with your brain so much. But of course and once again this is all well worth the sacrifice for my lovely baby. And I would do it all over again too.
Am I the only one who feels this way?
You see I had a baby and even though I am happy to have all the new responsibilities I feel like who I am has just washed away. And now I am only a mom. No mater how hard I try I cant seem to have fun. And I mean fun in an adult type of setting like the kind of fun I used to half before the baby.
I mean I certainly dont miss drinking and hooking up. But I miss being care free out about town socializing with kindred souls. And staying up for hours to watch the sunrise and sleeping in all day.
Now I know I cant do those last 2 things but why cant I go out to meet with people and have insightful conversations?
Every time I try for some reason or another I cant stand the person or I feel awkward. I used to be a social butterfly and now I panic and forget how to even talk. I swear I have become a hermit. I stopped even posting on social media. Im afraid of what people will think of me and rather just stay quiet than have people judge me.
Whats more I my entire mentality has changed. Once I was aloof and care free and now I am a control freak who has to plan everything ahead. And lets not even get started on the amount of worrying over anything and every thing that goes on in my head!
Funny how motherhood can screw with your brain so much. But of course and once again this is all well worth the sacrifice for my lovely baby. And I would do it all over again too.
Am I the only one who feels this way?
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