My life has changed so much in the last few years I feel like I dont know who I am anymore.
You see I had a baby and even though I am happy to have all the new responsibilities I feel like who I am has just washed away. And now I am only a mom. No mater how hard I try I cant seem to have fun. And I mean fun in an adult type of setting like the kind of fun I used to half before the baby.
I mean I certainly dont miss drinking and hooking up. But I miss being care free out about town socializing with kindred souls. And staying up for hours to watch the sunrise and sleeping in all day.
Now I know I cant do those last 2 things but why cant I go out to meet with people and have insightful conversations?
Every time I try for some reason or another I cant stand the person or I feel awkward. I used to be a social butterfly and now I panic and forget how to even talk. I swear I have become a hermit. I stopped even posting on social media. Im afraid of what people will think of me and rather just stay quiet than have people judge me.
Whats more I my entire mentality has changed. Once I was aloof and care free and now I am a control freak who has to plan everything ahead. And lets not even get started on the amount of worrying over anything and every thing that goes on in my head!
Funny how motherhood can screw with your brain so much. But of course and once again this is all well worth the sacrifice for my lovely baby. And I would do it all over again too.
Am I the only one who feels this way?
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